It is natural for every person to feel angry when somebody hurts, insults and show injustice to them. It happens very rare that an aggressive response can be a lifesaver. But in every day interactions, our survival can mean that we should behave strongly than a situation might warrant. It means that we should control our emotions in the midst of the moment or else we might regret later on the result of our actions.1. Cultural influence. Society and culture play a vital role in the difficulty of managing this complex emotion. For Americans, they regard anger as “bad” emotion, making it less acceptable to express than say sadness or anxiety. As a result we don’t learn how to handle our anger constructively.
2. Tolerance levels. Some people have a low tolerance for frustration. They always feel that they don’t deserve for the barrier, inconvenience and annoyance they are facing especially when they think it is unfair to their part.
3. Family background . Family background plays a very important role on how you express anger. If a person comes from a family that doesn’t communicate well, lacks structure and routine, it has the possibility of not having the opportunity to learn how to express anger assertively and constructively.
There are three basic approaches to responding to anger: expression, suppression, and management.
1. Expression. Every one of us express anger in different ways, it ranges from having a calm, reasonable discussion about the feelings until it reaches to blowing up of emotions. Expressing anger includes yelling, punching a wall, breaking or throwing something or it can be express by talking through your feelings, negotiating an apology and change in the relationship, taking action to change the situation or solve a problem.
2. Suppression. It involves holding the anger in, letting it go and changing your focus to something else. It can also be a positive choice to let something go and forgetting, take a time-out or simply avoid and ignore the irritation.
3. Management. Managing anger well is about accepting anger as a normal emotion, paying attention to it and making some choices that allows the person to improve the situations.
The best tactics for anger management are:
- Delay, such as counting to 10 to allow the arousal from anger to dissipate (Thomas Jefferson said if you are really angry, count to 100!)
- Relaxation, such as taking deep breaths or listening to calming music
- Distraction, such as working on a crossword puzzle or taking a walk to get your mind off the situation causing the anger
- Doing something incompatible with anger and aggression, such as petting a puppy, kissing a lover, watching a comedy, or helping someone in need